"Ye Gods! - Music forged in
gargantuan pits of fire and brimstone, deep in the belly of the earth;
it will tantalize anyone who likes to laugh until they feel sick,
provided they are not scared by loud noises."
Ye Reviews!
Ye Gods CD Review - Les Banditos
Avec Les Mullet
"I Loves you, I f@#"s
you, I buys the chips"
What we have here is something a
little different from the CD's that we usually get to
review. This is a CD you would buy from the band after
a stonking live show. It is not well recorded or over
engineered, it is a live recording of a band that must
be brilliant fun at a gig. Most of the songs are written
by the band, with a couple of Queen classics thrown
in.
The tracks are in 'set list' order,
with the instrumental build up to a high energy rock
show. Despite the poor recording quality, you can tell
that Ye Gods know what they are doing. Some nice guitar
work and the kind of lyrical humour that takes them
well above the level of the normal pub rock band. A
Bristol Tenacious D? Although would tenacious D have
the wit to add the Dr Who theme to their set..... who
knows?
We must get to see Ye Gods live for a Bristol Rocks
Bootleg!
Boys, you have to get this album recorded in a studio,
if you can capture the same energy with a quality punchy
studio album you will sell them by the bucket load.
many thanks for the cd.great stuff.i
can see that your music was inspired by TCHAIKOVSKY.no
not the great composer but LEON TCHAIKOVSKY that works
down at ALDI part time.you know the one the guy with
the barbi tee shirt and the the yellow jeans and sandels
and a hearing aid.lol.loved it.loved it.loved it.i will
play it often at home locked in the toilet and on the
radio station many times.the station is closed this
week as we have all been put in a padded cell till we
are safe to go on air again and are no danger to the
public.but i wiill play it on my friday morning show
and my everyother monday show and on the saturday paranormal
show to un-nerve the outside broardcast team before
they go out to a haunted site.did i detect a hint of
tele tubbies in dawn said.my fav track is YE GODS.its
so nice to hear a band as good as you are having a great
time.lovely bass line holding things together as well.was
having a bad day today,heart and arthritis hell.but
your cd has cheered this old git of a blues man up no
end.all the best to you all and keep me up to date.
Thou darest call thyselves Gods?!!!
Well, try this and prove it.
Canst thou turn Wine into Water?..........I can.
Canst thou makest Darkend Vile Odorous Brown Heaps from
thy very living Bowels, and verily make it so none may
touch them??
Hast any one of ye ever been nailed to yon burning door?
And lived?
Hast though exceeded the divine Holy Speed Limit whilst
passing a police vehicle on the left?
And then were though brave enough to fling Given Ticket
with a fierce hand and crushed it into the dirt?
Hast thou Vomited Heartily with joy in your heart up
someone else’s coat sleeve on the late night bus
back from The Dead City of Cleckhuddersfax, in the Valley
of Why?
Challenged old people that it is NOT their divine right
to push in at the checkout queue?
Released all last vestiges of the trapped gas from a
cripple’s wheelchair?
All these things and more have I completed in my past
life as a MEMBER of a certain Secret Society known only
to a few million world wide.
What?
What? You have?
Oh alright then, you can be my “friends”.
But don’t abuse the privilege and ask me questions
about... HIM.
He who bears the mark of the Wicked Wart of WICKENBACKER.
Or he shall smite us all verily with trick questions
about WWII.
NOW GO!!! And do your “THING”.
We shall not speak again I fear until “THE DOING
HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH”.
And now rest, for yes, we do rest, oh yes, we do. We
rest and we rest on nice comfy mattresses with only
a few piss stains (they’ll come out in the wash)
from previous owners. I go... phttufff! See? Gone.
Indeed, we do thusly call ourselves
Gods with brazen recklessness. Verily may we be punished
by those deemed mighty enough to pass such judgment.
Wine into Water? We canst, although
‘tis the yellow, unpleasantly odorous water of
piss.
Brown Heaps? Indeedly, with the aid
of Bass Ale the foul, brown porridge flows freely.
Yon burning door? A test we have
yet to pass... we are not as mighty as thee... yet!
Police? We answer only to the police
of Rock Justice. Should ever we produce a tune that
we wouldn’t be prepared to take into the belly
of hell and play to the horned master without fear of
death, then lo, let us be punished...
Cleckhudderfax? A place yet to be
visited. Although we understand Hull is similarly so.
Old people? They run in fear of my
beard. Let them be scared!
As for the evil warted master of
bass madness, no questions shall be asked. None. Ever.
And so it shall be!
Thy reply pleases me. So be it.
Thou shall now be called “FRIENDS” of Philthy.
Verily telleth me where canst this strange “Brown
Porridge” be found? This intrigues me. Speak me
I say on this Brown Subject. For, the only “ODEROUS”
I HAVE KNOWN IN MY THOUSANDS OF YEARS AS A PRO DEITY
was a slimy little Demi-God who called himself “Mr.
Rogers” and would magically appear upon a magic
box called a “smellyvision set”. (Hath thou
heard of such vile trickery upon thy plain?) WEARING
A STRANGE PIECE OF BODY COVERING CALLED A “CARDIGAN”
yet beneath the waist (I am told) out of sight he wore
clothing only of which women should be adorned. This
baffles me greatly. Why would a person be so strange
and “ODEROUS” yet be loved and adored by
children and parents alike? You live in a strange World
indeed. I was greatly pleased when I heard from my spies
“below the WORLD” that he had recently entered
that domain and will be boned up the arse for eternity
by JOHN HOLMES and all comers with arse splitting dimensions.
This pleases me.!!!
Cheers Philthy.
Ah, the brown porridge, a subject
frequently asked about; Let it be said:
The Brown Porridge is an entity of
extreme pleasure, but at the same time pain; a two horned
demon, a double cream walnut whip of split persona.
If one consumes vast quantities of
the fabled Bass Ale and then a Chicken Madras, some
poperdoms and a pint or two of Kingfisher, then after
one’s belly has had a night of sleep to contemplate,
digest and yay verily and nay ‘process’
said mixture, one’s ass will undoubtedly produce
the said Brown Porridge. And it will be joyous. Much
fun can be had. One may even feel compelled to find
ones friends, and show them what has fallen out of ones
ass. Ah, yes, the pleasure at watching the looks of
horror spread over their faces as the smell hits them,
and yet they are compelled to also look and see what
smells so bad.
But be warned. With this joy also
comes untold evil. For, though the Porridge of one’s
own ass may bring untold joy to the bearer, the porridge
of another beings ass has the opposite effect. The Brown
Porridge of others brings pain, humiliation and vomiting.
So treat the Brown Porridge with
respect, and be weary of it; ‘tis an untamed beast!
Portishead band Ye Gods! have
been locked away for the past three months recording
their debut album and rehearsing new material in
a Bristol studio. The
new album,
Le Banditos Avec Les Mullet, is being
released on Saturday. The release gig is at the Full
Moon
on Stokes Croft in Bristol where Ye Gods! are
supporting Bristol
band The Sex Gods From Planet Metal. Bassist Cherrance
Metal, aged 25 from Portishead, said: "The
album has been forged in pits of fire and brimstone
- it rocks in ways that aren't
easily described. We are all very excited." Drummer
Topher Icecry, 33 of Portishead, persuaded fellow
Airbus member James Childs, 33 of Portishead,
to
mix the album in his Los Angeles studio. James
said: "It
was nice to be able to work with Topher again, and
on a project that's not too
serious. I think this offering will keep fans happy." When
asked what Ye Gods! have planned for the near future,
guitarist Stratt Williams, 33 of Bristol,
said: "In
the new year we plan to make some videos for songs
and try and get them on the TV." Entry
to the gig is £4, and doors open at 8pm.
For further information check out www.ye-gods.co.uk.
Review by Sacred
Rich
YE-GODS! Sunday April 24th
2005
This was my first exposure to
the mulleted, toga wearing rock band and, unlike
other virginities I have lost, this one was far from
disappointing. The guys, Stratt Williams, Cherrance
Metal and brothers Dave Against the Machine and Topher
Icecry, are a truly talented bunch of individuals,
but together they are greater than the sum of their
parts and combine to produce some truly life altering
ROCK that would make the most hardened metalhead
cry tears of blood before spontaneously combusting.
Having only GCSE English I will
endeavor to describe my experience if only to offer
a small window into this tsunami of a rock machine.
The boys came on to a very expectant
and welcoming Sunday evening crowd, which wasn’t
quite packed to its full 48 capacity strength, and
immediately got the punters support by opening with
the theme to Ulysses, the old late 80’s space
based cartoon. An amazing rendition, it has to be
said, and each following track seemed to make you
feel a little bit better (and crazed) than the last,
a feat that even signed, proven artists have trouble
attaining.
A new number, a cover of the 80’s
tune ‘Video Killed The Radio Star’, but
obviously rocked up like only these men of metal
can, was……almost indescribable in its
brilliance. Cherrance Metal vocally was hitting notes
that only Dame Kiri Tikanawa and dog whistles can
achieve (which he later confessed was due to being
aided by over tight underwear, impressive nonetheless
and what commitment from the baby of the bunch) all
the while torturing the bass guitar with his playing
prowess.
Stratt Williams was poetry in
motion as he bludgeoned his axe, whilst going through
various different guitar god rock type stances -
no easy thing in a toga - all the while mullet flailing
around like a cat with its arse on fire! This guy
was so good that even the legendary machinery designed
to take this god sent heathen music, a Mighty Marshall
amp, blew itself a fuse so it could take 5 minutes
rest.
Topher Icecry, the mythical beast
behind the drum kit, was sublime, drilling beats
into your soul until your heart rhythm changes forever.
I am scared of this animal!
Dave Against the Machine is the
one to watch though. He lulls you into a false sense
of security as he is happily mashing his guitar to
whichever song has been lucky enough to have either
been dragged kicking and screaming and reworked into
a rock masterpiece, or one of their own self penned
future classics. You think to yourself that Dave
looks like the one you would speak to if you absolutely
had to but then - BOOM! He suddenly explodes with
a head bang, guitar stance, power chord, backing
vocal combo which makes you swallow your tongue and
dislocates your knees. Dave you are a deceiving bastard!
There were too many exceptional
songs played by this band, but special mentions have
to be said about the Doctor Who theme and War Pigs.
Both tracks were awesome to the point of losing bowel
control and Le Banditos Avec Les Mullets (excuse
any spelling mistakes!) is a peach of a number and
possibly a future Song for Europe candidate.
YE-GODS! Seem to drag you by the
lips, bombard your senses with L.S.D. type effects
and leave you wondering who the hell you are. Musically
they inject ROCK into your very core where it immediately
starts a fight with the conformist neutral genes
turning you into a passion filled rocker just looking
for an excuse to abuse pints of blackthorn and play
AC/DC ‘til your eardrums rupture and brain
fluid trickles from your nose!
These guys do not deserve to be
called a band, they are much, much more than a band;
they are ‘A Reason’. If God created ROCK
and someone said ‘What the hell were you thinking
when you created that?’, ‘YE-GODS!’ would
be the answer. Yes they are a reason and deserve
a place as a dictionary definition.
I am not ashamed to admit that
listening to YE-GODS! aroused me and that is a difficult
thing to do without the aid of scantily clad Scandinavian
ladies!!!
COME WORSHIP AT THE CHAPEL OF
ROCK AND LET YE-GODS! LEAD THE WAY!
Review by The Jase
of Spades!
‘MILK APLENTY’ (or ‘MANNA
FROM HEAVEN')
Ye Gods - The Fleece, Bristol,
Friday 11th March 2005
This, Ye Gods!’ debut appearance
outside of the sleepy hamlet of Portishead, was a step
into the unknown. How would a knowledgeable, urban
audience receive a band who play, with their collective
sandaled foot to the pedal, music ranging from abrasive
Beastie Boys through Aldi’s wine catalogue to
a Doctor Who’s netherworld? How would a large
Friday night Bristolian crowd take to such unusual
and unrelenting music being performed by four crusaders
who go by the names of Cherrance Metal, Topher Icecry,
Strat Williams and Dave Against The Machine, whilst
wearing Greek togas and dodgy mullets? To friends,
family and the faint-hearted, the excitement of seeing
Ye Gods! perform with the world-renowned John Otway
was, perhaps understandably, tempered with knowledge
of the above.
A large crowd greeted Ye Gods! as
they took to the Fleece stage resplendent in their
crisp-white, gold-trimmed neo-ancient togas, and kicked
off with no-nonsense renditions of Ulysses and Now
I’m Here. This was followed by the original and
rather raw anthem Le Banditos Avec Les Mullét
and the comedic self-penned masterpiece Baron Saint
John £2.39 From Aldi, both of which offered an
insight to the band’s unique song writing potential.
As Ye Gods! warmed up, so did the unwitting but not
unwilling audience. Judging by their developing smiles
and their enthusiastic applause, they were beginning
to appreciate that taking this band too seriously was
seriously missing the point. As a result, an imaginative
reworking of Doctor Who and a dirty, growling version
of Breaking The Law were delivered with energy and
gusto and received with growing
enthusiasm. A high-octane and rather fluid cover of
Beastie Boy’s Fight For Your Right was particularly “pleasing
to the ear” as one audience member exclaimed
through her strangled sobs.
The last song of the set was to
see Ye Gods! move a step closer to the level their
name suggests. They took on a medley of Queen’s
magnificently overblown and unwieldy Flash, wrestled
with the ageing superpower and won. It was during this
song that the audience got a glimpse of the potential
of this band; musicianship allied to theatricality,
as the four potent elements reacted as one. They swooped,
swooned, danced, posed and crashed their way through
this opus, leaving the audience wanting more of their
collective, quasi-mythical force before laying down
their instruments of power and floating off stage.
Inspired. As the smoke dispersed from their explosive
set, it became clear to all those who bore witness
that something wonderful had been created. Tonight,
Ye Gods! began to live up to their name. Bring on the
coliseums.
By Rich Hawkwind
Ye Gods! a short History
The saying “Yie Gods” later
translated to “Ye Gods” was first used
2000 years before the Greek empire. This was first
used in the ancient alcohol induced fire lighting
ritual which enabled music to come forth from the
flickering flames.
Malpractice of this ritual most recently in the
20th and 21st century has resulted in total shit
such as Rick Ashley, this foul sounding fiend was
a product of sober medalling infidels.
However much god like sounds have evolved from these
early rituals.
Metal as we know it was an off shoot of these early
rituals with the occasional sacrifice still being
carried out by a lesser god….. Ozzy Osbourne.
AC/DC still have a name linking them to the electrical
storms that were sometimes called upon for the pyre
lighting experience.
And so from our ancestors first drunken muttering
way back before Greek times, we find ourselves once
again uttering on alcohol fuelled breath “YE
GODS!”.
By Stoner The
Baby Faced Assasin
Review of gig @ PFC
2004
Last Saturday
music described as being ‘not for the faint hearted’ was
bestowed upon an audience at Portishead Football
Club by new local band Ye Gods! whose members hail
from Portishead and Bristol.
There was
an air of excitement as I walked into the smokiest
room I have ever encountered
just in time to see four men dressed in togas, mullet
wigs and laurel wreaths walk on to the stage. They
then discovered the soundman had nipped out to the
chip shop, said “thank you and goodnight” and
walked off stage to much laughing and cries of “more” from
the crowd. After this Spinal Tap moment it quickly
became apparent that this band don’t believe
in taking things too seriously.
About ten
minutes later the soundman returned and Ye Gods!
took the stage once more. I
have never laughed so much in my life. The band play
rock covers ranging from Queen to Judas Priest and
a few original numbers of which ‘Baron Saint
Jean £2.39 from Aldi’ seemed to please
the crowd greatly. My other favourites were a version
of the theme tune from Doctor Who done in the style
of Iron Maiden and ‘B Boys Makin With The Freak
Freak’, a rap song by the Beastie Boys that
can only be described as ‘special’.
The bands
style is loud, heavy and raw. The covers are done
in a unique manner, not
perfectly, but with much gusto and oodles of humour
which made the crowd warm to them quickly. After
finishing with a version of ‘Play That Funky
Music White Boy’ that made me want to cry,
the band left a very happy audience to watch the
main act, Ironically Maiden. I should just mention
that Ironically Maiden are possibly the most accurate
cover band I have ever witnessed. They sound exactly
like the real thing. Based ‘up North’ they
don’t come down this end of the country often,
but if they do I would thoroughly recommend checking
them out.
As Ironically
Maiden took the stage I managed to grab a few words
with Ye Gods! as they
replaced togas with jeans and T-shirts. According
to guitarist Strat Williams, 31 from Bristol, the
name Ye Gods! was inspired by the late great Peter
Cook. “I saw an interview with Peter Cook not
long before he died saying he would be forming a
band in 2004 called Ye Gods! As he wasn’t around
to do it we thought we’d do it for him.”
Guitarist
Dave Against The Machine, 29 from Portishead, said
of the performance; “It
was fun, but me and Strat were knackered before we
started. When we got to sound check I locked my keys
in the car. It took us over an hour to get the rhythm
section out.”
Ye Gods! will be playing at
Portishead Football Club on 18th December. If you
are not easily scared by loud music and like to
laugh make sure you get there. For more information
check out www.Ye-Gods.com.
